Rejoicing Always

**Trigger warning for those dealing with infant loss and miscarriage. I wrote this post a while back, but never actually published it. I think because I was afraid to admit how untrusting I was with the Lord during this time. To see it written out and be vulnerable with everyone is scary. But He's such a patient God. He's been continually chiseling away at me and molding me into who He wants me to be. So here it is. Raw and real with my pregnancy after miscarriage. Pregnancy after miscarriage is scary. It can produce anxiety that chokes out the joy of that precious life growing in the womb. I found out I was pregnant 6 months after losing Davey (see post "His Sovereignty in My Deepest Valley"). When we lost our unexpected blessing, our desire for children was sparked, even though we initially thought we wanted to wait a few more years until having children. So after returning from a mission trip in Honduras in June 2018, Cole and I decided to trust the Lord'